Monday, January 31, 2011

No more Drama....please

This past week was though, to say the least.  I swear sometimes I think I stay in the drama club. The more drama free I think I am, the more drama creeps up on me.  I had to sit back this past week and do a little introspective, questioning my issues and how I might contribute to the staying and perpetuating of the drama in my life.  Enough with the drama already! This time, I take none of the blame, I swear. I can be a pest, I acknowledge that, but this time around, I really, truly didn’t do it.  I have gone through dramas that make me feel like I am riding on the worse roller coaster ever, yet this time can’t compare. For some reason, this ride is rougher, these tracks rise in patterns I’m unfamiliar with, and these inversions have left me upside down.  Can someone please flip the switch? Can I be brought back to earth? Where things are usually OK for me, where people respect each other and look out for each other.

This past week was tough, to say the least.  My sister, Farah keeps reminding me that the only way I can survive life is to lower my expectations in people. The higher I put them, the more I hurt when they let me down. As if them letting me down is to be expected. We’ve all fall short, I know that. But am I to lower how I see people? My expectations, do I change them to fit how short people fall? What will be left then? Shouldn’t people aim higher? Whatever happened to accountability and trust and integrity?  Again, why should I change my standards to accommodate someone who obviously doesn’t really get it? So many questions, I know!

This past week was tough, to say the least.  I am not perfect; far from that! Ewww …I am guilty of some of the unimaginable acts, therefore I would never act like I am on a pedestal looking down and scolding others for doing wrong.  The only big difference between me and most is that I acknowledge my wrongs and am woman enough to always apologize.  Does an apology change the acts? It does not; I agree.  The apology helps though, it tells me that yes I messed up, but you know what, I was wrong. I am working on being better and not repeating those acts towards you or anyone else.  An apology can make or break a dramatic situation.  Not apologizing simply scream that the guilty party does not care, that by all means necessary they are and will not accept blame for the wrong they have done. That hurts more than the actual act; my opinion.

This past week was though, to say the least.  But notice how it’s in the past tense. Then so am I with this drama. Everyone who knows me knows that I am somewhat of a cry baby, well a huge cry baby.  Yet, I have not been able to drop not one tear…not sure that I am sad, just shocked that it all had to end like this.  Now that I have my big girl panties on, I am ready to tackle whatever comes my way, my way! I still hold people on a pedestal; I don’t want to even think that I can’t. Thinking that way will make me feel like I truly live in a jungle, with animals. Where everyone is out to fend for themselves. I don’t want to even think that way; yet.  So I am still confident that people are good at heart, they just make mistakes. I pray that they learn from them and most importantly man/woman up when they do fall and admit to their faults so that closure can be brought and trust restored.  Although in this particular instance, I won’t hold my breath…

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