Last month, around exactly the same time...I was in a rut! I did not know which foot should go first. I had no idea if I should stand or sit. I am still in a rut technically, because my mind is going at 100 miles per hour, but at least I now not only have lifted a foot, but I have a destination in mind.
To most, this will sound like the most absurd if not crazy idea on the face of the earth.
But I am moving back to Haiti. My sail is set to ship out. I will keep you posted as far as a date is concerned. Why? Are you crazy? You would trade your life in America for Cholera? I have heard it all! But yea, if it doesn't work out I will pack up and move back...but for now I am determined to move back home and make the best of every situation hits me!
I moved to the States 15 years ago, and a month after I moved here, I knew in my heart that my place was not here. I have been grateful for the life here but it isn't mine. I have been ranting and chanting that one day I will move back, well...I guess the time has come.
I am not sure what to expect once I go back home, I imagine that life will be extremely difficult, again its been 15 years, everything in Haiti is different, yet I am ready. Should I postpone this any longer, I will forever live my life wondering how my life would have been had I never left. I might have died in that earthquake, who knows! But I must go, I must know! I have unfinished business with/and in Haiti. The young girl who just packed up and moved is still there and she needs to reconnect with her reality.
That fire in my eyes, I know where it is, I left it there a while back and traded my life for comfort and ease. I had convinced myself all this time that my place was here, yet deep inside I am slowly dying, because my heart belongs there.
So I am taking the plunge!
Head first! I will worry about the cuts and the bruises as they occur.
I long to be there, I yearn to know what my future can hold THERE. I am happy to start 2011 under those terms, I pray that God continues to watch over me because deep inside I know He is sending me there....