In a rut...

I used to think I was different, but then I started thinking that everyone must think the same about themselves. So I stopped thinking that my being and/or feeling different was special! Than it all started going wrong, because as soon as I started ignoring my special differences I started loosing touch with who I really was. I started caring too much about how people would see me and think of me. Then I started loosing my big voice. It became more about "them" then "me" and my purpose.

I love talking to my dad, especially lately, because he never fails to remind me that I have lost that gift, that fire I once had. Today, after our usual chatter, he asked me if I had fallen in a rut...he proceeded to say that he felt as if i was stuck and didn't know how to start off again. Remember the part about how much i love talking to him? Because he is often right on the money. I have been in a rut for 6 months now. Not knowing what foot to put in front of the other. Stuck like chuck...something about 2010, I tell ya! 

Not too long a go, a childhood friend commented that I had lost the little "fire" that I used to have in my eyes, that, based on her observation I am existing instead of  living. I have become complacent, content with just fulfilling the everyday chores and going about my usual business. I have stopped pushing myself, I have stopped living with a real purpose......Light bulb moment! 

I am not even sure why I am sharing this with possibly the entire world, maybe because I am crying out or re-claiming that sense of purpose. Maybe its time I set out to live my full potential and do the things that I know for sure I was made and created to do.

I can only imagine how sweet life must be, if you are living out your dreams and God given potentiality. Even sweeter if while doing that you can touch a few peoples lives and help them get there as well..........

I will know soon, I am on a quest...I know the path, I just need to get back on the road and remain focused!  Because I am differently special...or especially different..........I must start or continue to act like it!

XOXO

Welcome September...

For a while now I hated Septembers. They always reminded me of the saddest moments of my life. Leaving Haiti, leaving home for this now new home. I hated the fact that everything had to change for me. I left my school, my friends to move here on September 9th 1995. Geez, 15 years ago. I cannot even begin to believe that it has been this long.
I still hated Septembers, until about 3 years ago when the month started to mean something else to me. The birth of Alexa.

Now when I think of September, I think of yet another change, a more positive change in my life. The month I became a mother, to the smartest little being on earth,...well ok, to me she is.
Well, welcome September of 2010...anxiously awaiting Alexa's Carnival bang....and whatever else you will bring!

This little girl has my heart!!!

Mama's Boy

Fish Soup with Macaroni

This dish came out really good! Kids friendly...Alexa and Dimitri love pasta so this worked!

Serves 6 

2 tbsp olive oil

2 onions, sliced

1 garlic clove, finely choped

4 cups fish stock or water

14oz chopped tomatoes (can use canned)

4oz dried macaroni

18 live mussels, scrubbed and debearded

1lb monkfish fillet cut into chuncks ( I used tilapia)

8oz raw shrimps, shelled and deveined, tails left on

Salt and pepper 

* *I added my Haitian flavor, season as desired**